Yakuza war? Yes please

This is where your lost pachinko money gets invested

The Yakuza. Seems like there have been some rival shootings of late, and people are worried that it will escalate into an all out turf-war.
I say bring it on. The Yakuza disgust me, and the sooner they wipe each other out the better.

It really rubs me up the way that the 'kuza get portrayed as 'cool' in the media - TV, film, games, manga etc. Don't be fooled by the whole 'gangsta' routine.

The Yakuza are not cool. They are a joke.

Let's have a look.

Sorry, I couldn't find a better image - this guy doesn't look to bad actually

Your haircuts are ridiculous. I'm sure they are directly responsible for the large ozone-hole over Japan thanks to their one-can-of-hairspray per day atrocities. To be fair, only young Yakuza seem to subscribe to the Dragonball haircuts - I think all their hair falls out when they turn 30.

Your clothes are ridiculous. The 70's was a long time ago. Seriously, Yakuza fashion seems to have taken every hideous fashion trend from the 70's and 80's and fused them into one cogent embarrassment.
And you know what - the Yakuza make lots of money. They spend said money on brand goods. They make said brand goods look decidedly cheap. The sight of Louis Vuitton makes me want to throw up now.

When you speak, you sound like 4 year old children having a tantrum. But through the voice of a drunk chain smoker. Pull yourself together.

All of this is merely the way that they project themselves externally. Don't worry - Yakuzites are equally repulsive inside. If you've ever seen one in the flesh, doing his thing, then you will have been reminded of how low human beings can sink. They are simply an embarrassment to behold.

So, next time you're watching a Yakuza movie, or playing the Sega 'Yakuza' game, don't be fooled - the Yakuza are twats, and have no place in modern society. I repeat - the Yakuza are not cool. Get rid.